Well, it’s that time of year again when all of the beautiful people in Hollywood come out to dazzle us plebians with gorgeous gowns and blingy rocks. My mother-in-law refers to Oscar night as her “Superbowl Sunday”. I think Ellen pretty much stole the show and has my vote for BEST HOST EVER. But since re-reading jokes that she made would probs be supes boring for everyone, let’s dive right into the fashion! Best dressed or worst dressed first?! Ok. Best.
My absolute favorite of the night was Kate Hudson. She. looked. SMOKIN. I love the color and cut of her gown– very flattering for her, and that cape adds a classy detail that makes the whole look tres chic and unique. Kate for the WIN! (Besides Ellen, of course). And J.Law. I love that she fell down again. Why we are not best friends yet is completely beyond me. L-o-v-e this color red on her, her hair looks great, the dress is flattering, and her necklace, again, makes the outfit.
OH MY GOSH. I am so over nude dresses after seeing so many of them on the red carpets last year, but I LOVE love LOVE both of these looks. I died when I saw Cate Blanchett, and immediately pinned her for my best dressed. That dress is AMAZING, the details are beautiful, her jewelry and hair is perfect to complement the overall style, and the color doesn’t wash her out (thank you very much, Kristin “Oompa Loompa” Cavallari–who, I might add, also looked gorgeous but when she hated on this dress, I kinda wanted to whoop up on her a little bit). Jenna Dewan Tatum just flat out kills it in this nude number as well. Again, no color wash-out, and an absolutely gorgeous dress that I just want to dive into. Channing Tatum for the ultimate win (Sorry, Ellen). So. Now. Can we all agree that nude/blush dresses have reached their zenith? Yes. Let’s move back into colors now, please.
These bluesy babes are perfection. Love Sandra’s beautiful navy and classic styling. Love Lupita’s “Nairobi blue” Prada, and I was soooo undecided on the headband last night, but I think I like it. At first, I was all… “Is it too 11 year old?!” But now I think it’s super chic, and I will be happy to debate anyone who thinks otherwise. Also, her speech was so sweet and she just looked so genuinely happy (I’m looking at you, Anne Hathaway 2013) that her whole image was just radiant.
I really like Bette Midler’s dress by Reem Acra. I’ve read some bad reviews, but how amazing does she look!? I think it is age appropriate, fun, and fits her like a glove. Jennifer Garner’s is simple and lovely. I’m usually not a fan of silver dresses, but I like the fringe and the classic cut. Her hair is beautiful and definitely makes the look work.
Naomi Watts, I wasn’t sure about at first. I thought that geometric/art deco necklace was a bit much for the dress, but now seeing it with the whole look (clutch and shoes), I get it, and think it’s pretty. Portia = ROCKING. IT. She looks so freaking gorg (minus a little frozen Botox face). I love the cut of the dress, and the cut-outs/pattern, and her styling is impeccable. Ellen, way to go sista!
Ok, these are three that I wasn’t sure about. I like the idea of all of them but something is just off. Charlize’s skirt and train are to die for, but the top doesn’t really fit all that impressively, and that necklace sort of makes her neck look thick. Anne’s is cool and modern, but with her hair was a bit intense for me (plus those rocks were sooo shiny that they were distracting while she was presenting), and Amy Adams’ dress is gorgeous, and the fabric while she was moving was absolutely awesome, but her hair was so bizarre… it looked like she was a citizen of the Capital in the Hunger Games. Strange tilt/wave thing on one side that I was NOT digging.
And last but not least, these two couples absolutely slayed it. LOVED Matthew McC’s white jacket with the tux, and his wife looks so ethereal. Her dress was chic, and the color is perfection. Plus that kiss when he won… Just the sweetest thing EVER. And Olivia Wilde might be the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen. She and Jason totally rocked the red carpet, looking as stylish as ever. I love his navy tux, and her dress was totally bump-flattering, and that peek of white in the back? Brilliant. I have a feeling they are fun as heck, too. Maybe Marc and I should start stalking BBQ joints whenever they come to KC (Jason’s hometown) because I think we could be bestie couple friends. Or at the very least, their maid of honor/best man at their wedding.
Now to the worst…
Just a few days ago, I was talking to one of my best friends about how chic I thought it was that Yolanda from RHBH always wears monochromatic jewel tone outfits. I must have been speaking too loudly, because Liza obvi overheard, mistranslated, and took my idea out to pasture and shot it. With a machine gun. This is the result… a Boy George/Hugh Hefner extravaganza. Anna Kendrick, whom I love, just flat-out picked an ugly dress. There is nothing else to be said about it… it’s just fug. Love her clutch, though.
I heart Kerry Washington, and she is glowing and beautiful baking that baby, but these colors – BARF. That purple is Nicole Miller circa 1993, and in satin… just no. Bridesmaid dress disaster. Her lip color compliments the color of her dress, and by that, I mean the whole thing makes me think of silk flowers in a funeral home. And this chica in the turquoise… WHAT THE F*CK WERE YOU THINKING?! This makes her baby belly look like a beer belly and it is just bizarre to look at. Look away. Faster.
Ahh, the case of the ill-fitting black dress. You think you’re playing it safe by wearing black, but BAM! What do you know? You’re still a celebrity so people still want to take your picture (duh). Emma Watson’s just make me think “droopy and itchy” with a strange fit, and ambiguous fabric. Love the cut of Glenn Close’s dress, but it looks like an industrial strength trashbag material, and the last girl’s looks like it might be from Bebe… which I think in combination with those bangs is just a little bit NOT FOR THE OSCARS. It’s the trashy cousin of Kate Hudson’s look. Her clutch is cool, though.
Dax- I am not sure about the tie clip. All I could think about was one of my old math teachers. Kristin looked like what I would assume I thought to be “perfection” in 1999. The lace, the corset in the back, the wispy bangs pulled out around her face from her center part… yuck. And Jessica Biel… I canNOT pin down what I don’t like about this, but I really really don’t like it. Possibly her ombre hair… possibly the color of the dress against her skin tone… Also, I wasn’t sure that she is allowed to attend major events like this without JT? 7th Heaven must carry more weight around Hollywood than we know.
Penelope… did we learn NOTHING from Jennifer Lawrence’s Golden Globe dress? Ew. And I am pretty convinced Julia Roberts just doesn’t give a sh*t about fashion after seeing her at the last few awards shows. The top of this dress didn’t fit her at all, and when I first saw it, the lace piece on her chest looked like a tattoo.
Marc had some pretty choice words about this actress from Blue Jasmine… Here are some of the more appropriate ones: “WOOF!” “Did she get left out in the rain?” “I think she forgot to shave her face”. I’ll leave it at that. Pharrell makes me happy, but this outfit was def better suited (PUN!) for the Grammys.
Um…. no. Just no. Unless you were wearing this to show Elsa (beer belly preggo chick) a more appropriate dress for her to wear, methinks you better exit stage left. Louise Roe’s is a pretty color, but it looks like something that I could afford and that’s really not what I want to see at the Oscars.
So there you have it! As my husband so lovingly reminded me as I was judging away, the main difference between these people and me is that they’re walking down the red carpet, and I’m sitting in sweats eating tacos. So with that in mind… judge away! What did everyone think of the fashion this year?